tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it will be a wonderful day - even sunny so I met with the t for coffee last night... not in his official capacity.. but as friends... he says I am the only one of his friends that will give him a true reading of where he is at, without the official mumbo jumbo... and he certainly feels he needs to keep tabs on me. he says I live close to the edge... aaahhh... now exactly where is that line... when I would be over. he knows about all of us... he thinks I have chosen a very personal way of dealing with pain... and as much as he likes who I am.. he misses her.. he says. he asked about the old man.. I told him he has not entered my dreams lately... or he has.. it feels like hhe has.. I just can't remember... he asked about Manny... again, he hasn't been around too often.. though I hear him laughing sometimes in the background... or funny things happen and I know he is the reason. and I told him my dreams... have become more like dreams he says.... M bringing the fear... about the kid... about nothing.. or was it everything. and he told me his stuff and then we laughed.. really laughed... as he said he thought maybe our roles were changing... we talked about how I chose to deal.. how he wished he could choose that path.. how he finds it hard to climb out of the well of hurt sometimes. we talked about energy and laughter and colors and music... and life... and the paths that get us from points of life to points of .... shaman's worlds...he and I both know what we mean. and then we talked about d.... I did not want to.. I told him this... but he asked. and then I said.. yes me, caped wonder... I said.. I was glad to have spent the time with him... for if it is all about experiencing.. then..well, then... I experienced that which led me farther on my path... and it was beautiful. it is the driving force that keeps people searching... I want to feel it again... for as badly as it ended... for that moment of goodness... I want that feeling again. and then we laughed... and laughed... for he asked.. and how are you doing with that..... well, there is this guy that writes the most beautiful stuff.. that I don't know.. never met.. never even heard his voice.. but his words... aahhh.. his words... and then we laughed that great belly laugh... for he knew my head is in the clouds as always.. believing and trusting in something... very basic.. before the days of religion... and so.. I laugh this morning.. throw my energy to the ether... toss my stones... and send a little prayer of thanks to the d man for he has given me much... and the best is yet to come. 6:40 a.m. - 2006-04-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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