tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NO MORE if everything has a meaning... does all the snow this year...does it mean I need to move? because winter is much longer this year than I want to deal with. another snowy weekend... lots of snow so ..no... I will not get to the art exhibit that I have been wanting to see... and I am thinking Charlotte... that's my thought. I was suppose to go to karaoke night last night... my brother wanted me to go with him... that person would be there... my brother talks with him often, but I didn't. As soon as my brother called yesterday... as soon as I said yes.. I walked out of my office to see the snow ... the sun had been shining before he called. I laughed looking at it and asked the gods were they trying to tell me something. They didn't have to bother with the snow though... by the time I got home, I had chickened out.. yes the weather is bad but... I keep remembering right conduct.... but I think I want to give it a try. Confusion settled in my soul, warming my blood with its movements. I want to write... but don't. I want to paint.. but can't... I need the forest for it all. I need to feel it's quietness deep in my mind. my heart wants to feel it's peace My soul needs to dance with the faeries... the elves ... the little people that are my friends. but it's too cold and too snowy. As soon as I thought of moving, I thought of them and how I could possibly leave them behind... in some ether worldly way I need them. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE MOST PEOPLE MUCH... YOU DUMB FUCK. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND INTO THIS REALITY BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU LIVE. NO MORE DREAMING... NO MORE... NO MORE... NO MORE... Now, with that out of the way... I think I will go say my prayer, chant, and see what the runes have to tell me today. and maybe... just maybe... the sun will come out... if not in this reality ... in my heart and in my soul. I am smiling now because I can feel him...right now... and it feels right. 7:40 a.m. - 2003-01-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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