tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- doppelganger Last night the phone rang, pulling me from some much cherished place. It's shrillness piercing the silence of the night. I never understood how sound waves could create fear as I did then. The fear settling in before I even was fully awake. Not fear for myself but that my world may never be the same after I pick up that phone. "Hello?" I tentatively answered, my stomach tensing to hear whatever my future journey in this existance would compose of. I waited... it seemed like such a long pause and my mind settled on a friends face in that timeless moment of eternity. There were no lights on at my parents housse next door... I had checked and so knew it couldn't be them. "Hello?" again I asked... questioning but now getting annoyed. I am ready for the future, just tell me. "Oh, wrong number" a girl's voice.. almost laughing.. in her defense... maybe a little nervous type almost laughing. "What? What did you say?" I was furious... did she not understand what in those few moments the places I had come from and gone to. and then I couldn't get back to sleep because he was there... in my mind and I didn't want him to be. I wanted to understand it all and I wanted to curl in his arms and fall back to sleep... that my world was safe. I got up and checked on my son, who was sleeping peacefully. He had fallen asleep editing the book he has finished and now just needs to "tweak" as he says. I took it out of his hands and pulled the covers up about him, and thought how seldom I am going to have this opportunity again. He is getting so grown up. and I tossed and turned trying to understand. and then my thoughts went to someone I do not know, but that seems to know who I am. Someone that seems to understand before I put words to paper what it is I am feeling or thinking as their words are often where I am at. and I wondered inthe scheme of things who this person is. 8:11 a.m. - 2003-01-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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