tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I feel better This has been a perfectly horrid week... but maybe the worst is over. It's not as if I wasn't warned it was coming but ... just didn't think I would be assaulted on so many different levels. I got sick.. caught whatever my son had... more snow and more snow.. my finger got very infected.. I had to go to the dentist which always sends me into a little tailspin because I am sooo afraid of "the dentist"... lucky for me the antibiotics that I take for my dental visits helped with my finger that had tripled it's normal size... my car is back in the shop... and the new guy that I cancelled the date with sent me very angry e-mails... now that's just not nice. It's not as if I really know him... or even have met him. My boss has been a real pain... of course, business is making everyone worry and now thoughts that my job may be phased out earlier than anticipated. and my computer crashed... virus thing and it has taken all week to get it back to where it is now.. still not good but working... but the hardest thing of all was not feeling my soul's friend for a few days. I am not sure if it was me that was not letting me feek or if it was him.. but I didn't and the aloneness I felt is hard to explain. Not even dreams to fill the void.. just the nothingness of feeling... absence of something. But then yesterday... yesterday morning... I felt him.. not as strong.. but a litlle and at times I think I start to feel him this morning but then it fades.... so I need to find out what's going on.. but then I think it is because it is Valentine's Day tomorrow and he is more concentrated on where his heart really is...not the connection to his soul. That's OK... I really do want him to be happy... why I even might send him his I Ching and Runes.. maybe... just his.. not ours.... maybe. That will be my valentines present to him. ... Maybe. Now I hope the bad is behind me today... but I still have to throw my stones yet this morning... either way... I feel better. 6:31 a.m. - 2003-02-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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