tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because of your age Getting older... I still can't bring myself to say I'm old... but getting older is defiantely a pain. I awoke Sunday night to chest pains... enough pain to wake me from a sound sleep... bothersome pains.. and you wonder.. is this going to be it? and of course thoughts went for my son... will he be alright.. I don't even know who will take care of him.. he has changed so.. there was only one I could think that he would be ghappy with and that might understand him.. but that would be too much of an imposition.. anyway... thoughts... lots of thoughts went though my head. I went to work... but the pains got stronger and I felt weaker... I called my doctor and she said " because of my age" I needed to go directly to the emergency room. "Because of my age" when I started to explain at triage... I was whisked away in a wheel chair and put into bed and within 10 minutes hooked to all types of machines. After many hours of being treated "because of my age" as though my life were ending... I was released... muscle spasms in the chest area.. now even sore to the touch. it made me think while I was laying in emergency alone as I had not callled anyone and the only person really to call would have been my son and he was in school.. I thought of the things that will never be or never be again "because of my age" the list was getting really long... and that saddened me. I thought about what there could be to look expectantly to.. realistically ... and didn't like that list at all.. "Because of your age" what a terrible phrase to use. 6:13 a.m. - 2003-06-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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