tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- not sure of anything who's going to help her up when she stumbles and falls? is there no one to dry her tears when she loses faith ? She will do it herself... She can and will.. get a grip.. she's ok... the sun is shiningg and she has lots of physical work outside to do today ... because of the flood damage.. and we know how good physical work is for the soul... tires the body so that the only thing left is what's inside.. tires those fanciful thoughts and lets what is out. She will fix up the sound so that she can hear classical while she works.. another soothing thought... and she will think about the letter she received yesterday that says she is to go for belt testing next month... she doesn't know 1/2 of her "kata?" and she needs to work on 2 of her basics and learn one more release... but she has 4 classes to learn it in before the testing so she will visualize her movements while she is working ... she is quietly proud that she is to go this soon for testing and frightened at the same time... but she will learn... and she will do it. and in her dreams she sat by a waterfall.. it's location so deep in her forest that it could only contain peace. She sat on some moss that grew near a very large stone that served as her back rest... she listened to the music of the forest... neither expecting or dismissing.. just immersed in the moment and what is. She saw a movement at the waterfall.. slight... as if someone was looking out from behind the cascading water. She srood up curious and was greeted by the sound of laughter... many voices.. soft melodic notes of laughter.. the kind that make you want to smile because you know where they come from is happiness. She looked up as birds took flight.. not hurrying .. just leaving to go anohter spot in the trees to sit and experience the day. and then the blue color came filling her so that she danced in the sunlight entering that moment bewteen earth and sky.. between that blue moment of life.. of creation. when what is... is and in that momemnt was someone.. something.. unlike what she understood before... the splitting of life... the connection.. and she felt love..as never before felt.. that perfect love.. what she has searched for in all of this reality... that which she has judged all relationships by and they were left wanting.. she needed more. and here it was. and the feeling... the connection startled her so that it shook her awake.... the connection.. so direct.. and this morning she sees the path... and not sure what it all means. 8:37 a.m. - 2003-07-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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