tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- maybe I do understand and the lights went out... and the rumors started and the child in me was frightened.. at least until I could get some info ... find out what was happening. But the power is on and more info is available but the knowledge of how vulnerable we are... how quickly it happened... is a bit unsettling. and then I laughed... last week I asked the gods about co-incidences and resting in the hands.. and now.. another Thursday... and no karaoke. hmmm..... and dreams last night.. of my hair.. and him .. and strange... my hair was very long.. and wavy..and I didn't recognize myself.. the face looking back at me in the mirror as I dressed to go someplace.. informal and fun.. and he brushed my hair and we were talking .. laughing together.. I remember looking at him in the mirror as he stood behind me... his face so handsome and gentle... laughing.. but I didn't recognize myself. almost as if I was not there... as if I was looking down at the picture.. but then I stood up... we were going and it was me again... as long as I didn't look in the mirror ... it was me. and for some reason this morning, my exorcism has been in my mind.. memories of a time in my forgotten years.. of the Franciscans and Holy Water... the burn marks of the cross in my hand.. the whispers behind me when my feet did not touch the ground.. the priests taking me and trying to control.. to fix.. me. and when we had looked in the mirror (I jokingly looking to see if I appeared ) well, I hadn't recognized myself then also. Maybe that's it... But what if they were trying to fix something that they had no idea how it was broken? Way back then... Just the broken doll discarded. They had no idea. 6:41 a.m. - 2003-08-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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