tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and today I wait. Just have a seat here.. don't get dressed yet..we'll just take a look and let you know if we need anything else. So you sit... wondering... can't really think of much else... the what if's.. how would it change your life? and then the tech comes back into the room... sorry, just a couple more pics... the expectant look on my face starts to fade.. can't I get dressed, I ask? Not yet... just need to take a couple more... different angles... make sure... Did you see something? I ask. She hesitates for a fraction of a second that seems as if forever. Oh... I don't read them she says... I just take them... Oh.. so the person that reads them.. he said more were needed? I ask. Well, no... just a precaution from the preliminary look... wouldn't do to have you have to come here and have to repeat this again. and so I wait. Haven't had pain or anything out of the ordinary.. she asks... doing your monthly self checks.. she asks.. You remember the face.. you try to read behind the words... you look at their eyes. My grandmother had breast cancer.. it started the cancers that killed her. I flew in the day she was to be operated on... I got to the hospital as they were wheeling her to surgery.. I gave her a unicorn... a white stuffed one... they let her take it in with her... they put it in a plastic bag. She held up surgery for a couple of hours because the tarot had said it was not a good time for the surgery...She said she was allergic to some medicine .. they didn't have it in her chart. After I got there... after the time of danger had passed according to the tarot, she told them it was just the fuzzy feeling she got.. but it gave me time to get there to see her before she went under the knife. i waited... I loved my grandmother so.. I waited .... and then they wheeled her out. Her arm raised defiantly in the air in her unconsciouseness.. the arm on the side where they had taken her breast. She was so strong... She was a survivor.. In the end the cancer killed her but not before she taught me many things of life. As I sit waiting and wondering... she's on my mind... if the gods see fit to give me this ... if it is in my cards... I hope I am as strong as she was. Today I guess I'm realizing someplace along the way.. I have forgiven her. and maybe today.. that is all it really is about. 8:00 a.m. - 2003-09-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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