tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Confusion? the runes say..we can not go back to this stage in our life without causing pain. He needs to understand that. I will not stay at this stage and I will not live my life in the void because he has to feel like a savior. There is a world of opportunities for me out there and what I want.. well, he may be all of that but he is something else also... someone that.. though I have lessons to learn and issues of my own to confront.. someone that will have to give more than he is at present. and I do understand.. don't get me wrong.. he is between a rock and a hard place.. she is sick still.. there is a world of people hurting... but... I can't be put on hold much longer. He thought he wasn't ready... and he obviously wasn't or he wouldn't have gotten so confused with a " friend.. just an old friend" that's what he called her. He also said something else in our last weekend together which he said in jest though I now understand he never says things in jest... It will bear watching. As much as I love him... I will walk away.. not from him.. never from him.. but from the situation. I can't live in confusion always. 6:18 a.m. - 2004-08-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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