tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- smiling this morning he said, are you alright? I am fine, I answered... and then the pause as if why would i have called if there was not a problem.. well.. yes I know he was in session and yes I know it was not important but when I told him why I called... I felt his smile and his laugh.. no... nothing very important on the scale of do I need him because there are bad things happening in my life? no... nothing like that.. but how to explain that the connection felt more uncomfortable than I could handle and so I called.. Just to tell him how I felt and hear he felt the same. In the scheme of things... maybe not so very important.. but important to me. I love him & he loves me.. just needed to be reaffirmed. and the connection did not feel so uncomfortable then... almost as if the words..feeling his smile and hearing his laugh.. the one that caught him off guard... was like salve on an open wound... soothing. but he did not call last night... to be honest I did not expect him to.. I heard the hesitancy in his voice when he said he would.. but he couldn't tell me he wouldn't... part of his problem.. he would have if he thought I had a problem.. so... until he realizes that is just as important... I will think of him with a smile. 6:40 a.m. - 2004-08-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||