tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- take this from me the worst thing about holidays is the lonelinesss.. no... that is not the worst.. the worst is knowing you wouldn't have to be alone but that you would be spending them with someone you really did not want to spend them with... I will choose the alone bit... after all I will have my memories from last year.. they will keep me warm when night falls and the cold wind blows. but... getting to those memories means I have to remember.. and to get back to that point.. I have to go past the part where I realize I meant nothing to him. today.. I am having trouble with that hurt.. today... I want to fade away and die.. today... I don't want there to be a today. I think I am in trouble and the light at the end of the tunnel is there but the passageway too long.. too scary to go thru. Today is hard enough... I don't want anymore tomorrows. 8:17 a.m. - 2004-12-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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