tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- vanilla & caresses the smell of vanilla woke me... sometime in the night after many unsuccessful attempts at sleep. it seemed to bring back the memory of the sensation of my brain being caressed .. that feeling yesterday from out of nowhere. not a normal connection feeling.. this was in a different chakra... but it halted me in the middle of whatever I was doing and brought a smile to my face. I know the connection to D.. how that feels.. and J... so who is this? sometimes D's changes.. so could it be him.. or was J so tired from everything he has been doing that this is the result.. whatever .. it was nice... and the vanilla scent last night was calming and I finally slept. and I think decisions have been made in some respects... I will stay here for another winter.. it is quickly approaching. The house has not sold.. I will work on improvements... I love doing that type of stuff anyway... and start again in the Spring. it is not as if I had a clear picture where to go.. my Runes tell me to stop and reflect before going on. my reasons for leaving are no longer valid. It started because of D and the kid.. the kid is gone and there is no D.. and no real connections with anyone.. well, maybe my dear friend ... but do I really wnat to take the chnace of ruining a wonderful friendship? and it is autumn.. the smell is in the air.. the leaves are turning and maybe.. just maybe it will be the time I fall in love... it is the time when I would be the most susceptible. and the kid will not be talking with me this weekend.. on his way to a thing a couple of hours away.. he is thrilled and I am proud. Protests .. or more.. saying it like it should be.. always has run in the family. and who would have thought... the girl's family.. she comes from a long line of "gypsys"... I knew when I met her parents at the deans office.. we had a connection of sorts.. the kid knew too... and now they investigate the tarot together.,, getting to be good friends. life... you just bever know... guess it is time to throw my stones. 9:13 a.m. - 2005-09-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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