tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scarlett Ashley and Rhett, but above all Rhett I watched Gone with the Wind last night for what seems like the umpteenth time... but it seemed different. I had work to do and so it was great background stuff to occupy my mind while I did the mindless stamping of letters... We need a machine to do this.. but.. anyway... not to get off track.. I watched one of my favorite movies... and thought about Scarlett and Ashley.. and me and D... As I watched.. I realized... I will not let D be my Ashley... and I thought about my Rhett... no.. I can't ruin my relationship with Rhett with the dreams of possibilites with Ashley.. I will not make Scarlett's mistake. but I saw similarities and though my Rhett told me he loved me.. and though I was not able to say I loved him back... the reason for taking this so slow... has nothing to do with D... I don't think. I am just not ready.. not for the physical.. not for the emotional... or maybe it is just I know when the physical happens it will be my end to the dreams of D... and maybe I am just not ready for that. or maybe I am afraid to believe.. afraid to allow myself to let go... I don't do that easily and the gods know.. the only time I did... what a mistake that was. but.. it is another day... I will think about that later.. for now.. it is the beauty of the morning... the land got Scarlett thru.. and the land has always been my bandage. and looking out... it is the land I love... truly. and the kid... soon to see the kid.... YEA!!!!! 6:42 a.m. - 2006-02-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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