tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just a crap shoot, ya think? my brother asked me if I would go coffin shopping with him. I paused before answering... a much too long pause. I suspect. It will only save you from having to do it... and you have your hands full with Dad. Looks like he just might out live me. Stop.. my insides screamed.. just stop. Calmly I asked when he was having the biopsy... when we would know for sure. they were scheduling the date .. would get back to him today. he was happy.... chattering away.. I told him I would send the healing stuff.. I told him I would do what I could... I told him how to help... We will get thru this. His words shocked me... don't you do your witchcraft around me... no mumbo jumbo... I am a Christian.. a Pentecostal Christian... and I look forward to heaven... to being with my savior. I was quiet... I smiled inspite of his words. He just didn't know... gosh.. imagine his surprise... when he gets to the pearly gates and st pete says... sorry.. it is to the debriefing room you go... and then on to planning... and then to the waiting room for your scheduled departure... if it is your choice... another lifetime or two or three... you know... until you understand. I laughed then... he looked at me questioningly... You are so happy at the thought that you might be really very ill... you might just work the magic in ways you didn't know you could. I AM NOT HAPPY... he almost shouted at me... I am just accepting... what will be .. will be. I smiled... what will be .. will be. and then he turned.. tell me.. wouldn't you be happy to move on... hasn't this been a real crap shoot. I laughed.... and laughed... and woke up laughing. What will be... will be. Yep... a real crap shoot. 6:54 a.m. - 2006-08-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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