tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- is that a curve in my path Pretentious People I guess I have always been attracted to them... since very early childhood, I guess... not really knowing why, nor even liking them for the most... just attracted to as one might be to an unknown shiny object flashing. We all know at least one.,. probably many... sadly enough. They are the ones that before you get to know who they really are. you know who they know... where they have been... the name droppers. and should they tell anything of a personal nature it is for very different reasons than friends or lovers might... more as a label or a rite of some passage... or a badge that can be proudly displayed.... or woefully twisted as one might a lemon peel.. to elicit the last bit of emotion. but as unknown shiny objects most times are just some colored glass or discarded something or other,,, so too the pretense oft times wears this and what is left is sad. so why the attraction? Is it because from childhood when different personalities .. the mes of me.. came to be my way of salvation against the horrors of what I was experiencing.. Did they also experience horror at a very young age that to be who they really are is too painful... Was my ability to split yet, remain whole... actually a gift from the source? Sitting here after an interesting week with my son and his friends.. an unexpeted trip to take the "girlfriend" to yet another med school interview.. so close and yet I could not dial the number... sitting here with the worst case of laryngitis I have ever had... not a drop of voice.. sitting here... we all are sending out positives to the life force.. that golden cable connecting... the colors swirl... we are blessed. whoever I am at any given moment... is who I am. and I thank those parts of me... all of the me's.. for getting me thru.. and laughter fills my soul... and me thinks it is time to turn up the heat, in more ways than one.
8:26 a.m. - 2007-10-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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