tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it didn't take much to take me back to that place I must not go to Drink deeply from the cup of my tears. Think there was a bit of anger there? hurt? I laughed a big guffaw of a laugh when I found this while cleaning thru papers... stuff.. this weekend.. getting ready for the possibilities. and then it struck me.... that I could do that.. laugh. I wanted to go back and wrap my arms around and say.. it will get better.. but in doing so the memories became too strong as if in the remembering I was giving them life.. and for a bit... it hurt again.. lots. I told myself I had been recklass.. that I had done this myself.. to myself... and hated finding those words written so long ago... and of course there were others.. lots that I had saved thru the years... and the possibilities seemed impossible and the void a necessary escape. and then.... my water froze... bringing me back to the very real world of cause and effect. and then I laughed.... slamming shut the door on the past... and laughed and danced first in the orange... then calling all to come and dance with me. and the idea that I could.. not only in the forest or the meadow... but in the here and now... not naked.. fully clothed... and I understood... and sent out the positives.. energy to attract... and I understood... and smiled.. and slept dreaming. realizing - probabilities do exist.. 8:00 a.m. - 2008-01-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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