tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and so I laugh because I am not so sure what I am meant to do what??? you have fears??? I didn't think you were afraid of anything... he was being trite.. we both knew that but it started another tangent.... my fears. we have been friends now for quite a few years... we met on line and he seemed quite perfect for me... bit older but that was ok... once there had even been thoughts of a relationship but that all changed when he came to my house.. 4:00 in the afternoon... on a Friday... spring... aahh Spring... and I remember being nervous... I liked this guy.. it would be the first time I let him come to my home... he would meet my son...So far there there had been nothing to not like... so I was hopeful... and there he was... I smiled,happy... and then he walked in the door and I smelled it.. He had been drinking... Panic set in. I know the reasons now... My Step father drank abusing my Mom.. my brother... myself. and so panic... my son was here and could I protect him.. I know irrational fear... but there it was. We remained friends... good friends.. but nothing more.. so when he called to say he was sending the positives for me.. I asked how he knew... how he knew it was that time... I forgot he could feel my energy also... I thought there had been a boost lately... I thought it was just the reikei.. he said he would drive me.. the weather was terrible and he was in town but for a few days.. I laughed thinking the gods certainly were smiling... so he took me... the tests showed nothing.. I was fine for yet another year... and he asked what happened.. and I said I really did not want to go into I am with that. throw your stones he said... let them quide you... I will settle for what they say... so I did.. and basically it says... get over myself...get past my fears... so should I tell him... I am not so sure our time has not passed.. just when I thought I knew right where I was.. 6:55 a.m. - 2008-01-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||