tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- he was writing my poem another cold dark snowy morning. It wasn't that way in my dream reality.. the sun was shining and I was drawing... well, actually, I was walking at first... with my soul's obsession... my heart's desire ( I know.. I know... so I was angry with him yesterday... but just for the moment..) the dream was good. we were walking ... I was looking for a place to draw.. something that would catch my eye and he was being silly7 I know... that is not something I would equate with him... but he was... I was laughing so hard... doubled over trying to walk.. and the more I laughed... the more silly he became. It was that same dusty road that we had been on before... when he held my hand and I wasn't sure it was him... last night I knew... it was him and I was laughing. and so was he... not sick... not drawn... just him... the him my soul sees... laughing. and then I saw the place... it had a large rock nearby and a small stream... over there.. under the trees and it was the perfect place. So I set everything up.. and I tried to draw but he was being well... just being him... so I told him to go to sleep.... we had brought a blanket for him to sit on and read. He started to read... I started to draw.. and it was a perfect moment. Even in my dream I felt how perfect that moment was and how I wanted it to last forever... and then he moved and got out a pad of paper and I asked him what he was doing and he said he was writing me a poem... that he owed me one. I started to cry... he was writing my poem... he remembered... and then the sun winked. I woke up... and that feeling for him... well, it's still there. and one word has come to my mind this morning... Honesty... I have to be honest with myself before i start messing in someone else's life... but.... HE DOESN"T WANT YOU>>>>CAN"T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT??? but you know what you have been told... will you go by faith? HMMMMMMM... oh.... i'm so excited... I have to add this... I opened my door this morning and there on the mat... a gift... a sprig? of goldenrod.. I asked for a sign... I was given one. The dream and now this.. and I thank the universe for its generosity. 6:34 a.m. - 2003-01-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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