tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- small gift of color Everything's white and black and cold again this morning. I can't stand feeling this way every morning when I look out and not see the sun. I've never missed the sun as I do this year. I long for the days when I hated the sun.. hated it's brightness... felt more alive on the dismal days... in the days of shades of gray. I still love the shades of gray days... as long as it's not so cold... those days when you can walk outside without the snow... days for contemplating the workings of the universe. I had a trail I loved to walk on just those days. At one spot was a big tree stump that you could sit on.. Not too many years ago I could lay on the old tree and look up at the sky through the hole in the forest that this tree's falling had produced. Now, the tree has decayed and little crawly things would cover me, but there is still a place on its roots that you can sit.. and I do.. especially on special gray days. Something about the shades of gray days never let me feel alone.. not like I do on these black and white days. Maybe once again it's the contrasts... maybe it all comes down to the colors once again. Colors have been my world for so long, before I even knew that most people did not think in terms of colors. a bird was calling me just now... it's cry ... the same over and over... I went to the window to look out and see what his calling meant. He just kept calling... over and over that same call... I looked around and couldn't find him...just his call.. no sign of color in the black and white of the morning until... looking for the source of that call... I looked up... and there.. there in the sky... the parting of some white clouds... the bluest blue of the sky... the contrast so great against the white and black. I am smiling now... there is blue and the sun will shine and its golden light will warm my soul. and the bird stopped calling ... he saw my smile and new his task was completed. and again, I thanked the universe for their small gift of color this morning . Just what I needed. 8:06 a.m. - 2003-01-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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