tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please and the tears have come... one last thing to go wrong. one last pipe to freeze, days more to go with frigid temperatures. my son is still feeling rotten, my asthma has started to kick in... doesn't like the cold and stress. and I am truly alone.... and finally frightened for that aloneness. No more thoughts about what can be... may be.. or is. Just that despair deep deep inside me that prevents sleep and makes me feel nauseaus and panicky. I'm rocking back and forth as the tears silently run down my cheeks and I can't center or find a spot within me to start anew. I'm just so tired of all this... and I don't have a clue on how to make it better or even the strength to keep trying. one kiss, that's all it took to realize the nothingness of everything and I just want out.. out of it all. I don't want to play this game anymore... please oh please let my son and I come home... this is just too hard. Please, I will beg on hands and knees... just please stop all this... please. I want to go to the other side... to the place where dreams come true.. to the golden days where tears have no place. Please let me not wake up this morning... let it finally be over. Please.. 1:58 a.m. - 2003-01-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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