tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The insights I'm reading this book about insights... the there is more out there line of what the religions teach us.. or rather... different levels that we must reach or should try to be reaching ... or something. I understand most of the insights so far... except for the one that talks about giving free rein to thoughts and co-incidences. I do understand... but about applying it to my life... that is what I don't understand. I can see the colors, always have to some degree ... if I look hard enough... maybe not as practiced as I should be... but I can see... sometimes even the colors of people... and I know I have much work on that to make it as it should be. I understand the transference of energy... from plants and people.. and its healing properties... and the effects of that energy and the colors... the beauty. But I am having trouble just letting go... maybe I need to start work on the insights and get really skilled or knowing about one before I start to move on. If that were the case then I guess I would be at the fourth insight... I think. But something really has me puzzled... the co-incidence thing... according to the book... nothing is random... only missed opportunities.. and maybe it is nothing more than letting me know that my soul connection is real.. or giving me the physical energy boost when I feel him... my soul's friend... that connection. Because I do feel energized after they have been together and I can feel his energy. And maybe that's it... maybe that's what this has all been about. The book says we are all given what we need... I do believe that... and I needed him to start me back on my path... and there he was... after all those years. The only person that could start me back on MY path... the path I needed to get on. Maybe not the path he is on... but mine... in many ways similar. And maybe... if that is taken a step farther... it can't be left the way it is between us... that is why he is brought to me so often... so many reminders... how the connection has gotten so strong. Unfinished business... or rather... the way it was left has brought too much trauma to my psyche and at times I feel that his has not done so well either. Is it not that we are meant to be together but that we need each other's energy in a very different way? That purity of emotion... type stuff. I don't know... I only know that I feel close to getting a little more insight into who I am... and why I brought him into my life. It was not a mistake. It was very important to me ... for my path. For the paths I will continue to take. There is a corner I am approaching... a crossroads so to speak... and how will I make the decision on which road to take? Or will I turn that corner blindfolded in the hands of the universe? 6:35 a.m. - 2003-01-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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