tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- golden hazelnut and ruby acorn and there it was resting on a burgundy pillow bed... the long fringes of the pillow cascading over the many cloths... brilliant to my eye. I stood in the entrance to the windowless and cornerless room drinking in the many colors. Pillows and cloths of all shapes and textures thrown carelessly and in piles. A child's playground for the imagination. I stopped in the doorway but the warmth from a lightsource I could not see beckoned me in... that golden light that warmed first from inside and then illuminated everything in my vision. But there it sat... the golden hazelnut..with its gentle glow radiating from it. I wanted to run and pick it up... to examine... but the cloths... urging me to play. So I entered and upon entering noticed elephants all around the room... raising their trunks in acceptance. I laughed and ran to touch their trunks feeling at once a child again who had always been fascinated by elephants. I wrapped the cloths around me, slipped off my slippers and danced... as a child might.. freely swinging arms about... dancing to the music that only my ears heard... well, that and the elephants sounds. Laughing, exhausted, I fell into the pillows and imagined myself a princess and then again at the same time a gypsy. I played the roles switching back and forth... whenever the mood struck me. and still the hazelnut sat there.. finally, i knew it was time and I stopped twirling to touch it... to become one with the energy it possessed. to become me... the child me. and I was ready for the memories and ready to laugh the childhood laugh once forgotten. and I was alright. and how do you awake much happier than before? Was it a dream or was it my imagination sparked by words from my soul's obsession? and when I awoke I remember a very cold river... with mists swirling around.. and a red light glowing... distant from the trunk of a massive oak tree, but i got nowhere near it. It was if I knew... the hazelnut was for resting in... fortifying myself for the tomorrows. It's golden light bathing my soul with much needed comfort... a time to play. There will be the time for the ruby acorn... but not yet. It will be there to guide me in my tomorrows and to give answer to my todays. almost as an assurance to stay the path so to speak. and then I thought of my friend and hoped that anything I may have said to him last night... yes... we talked... on line... I know... who would have thought I would have got up the nerve to contact him and that he would respond... timing.. once again... timing.... helped him. because... well, there's just something about him... no matter how far my understanding gets... there is just something ... he is there. and I was happier than before... am happier than before.. it feels good to be happy. and I just got back from taking my son to the bus for solofest.. and guess what greeted me when we drove off... what stood in the road... almost defiantly until I stopped my car... a big black crow.. or blackbird... if you so desire to call him that.. But the bird is back!!!!! now I'm really confused. 6:38 a.m. - 2003-02-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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