tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why? Why can't my dreams be real and this reality be the dream? I miss him so much this morning... and he was there in my dreams last night and I did not want to wake this morning... and tried to go back to that place where he was when I woke and found the bedside empty. I felt him earlier... lots... and lots yesterday ... and that was comforting... but for some reason today I really really miss him. So... I finished my closet. Busy hands and all that kind of stuff.. you know. and I realized what was making me so sad lately... It was that right conduct type stuff and the accountant. So... on Valentine's I spent it with myself... where I belong and did not play games. Right conduct... it does make me feel better... and if I stay in the present I don't feel so sad with my aloneness. Have to remember that... it is important to me... stay in the here and now.. no thoughts of the past or future and I will be just fine. Well, almost.... because in this present.. in this here and now... I still miss him.... explain that one.. hmmmm. I know... I know.. hand waving wildly.. pick me... pick me.. OK... what? Cause he's your soul's obsession... not to mention your heart's desire. and... and... everytime you get to a safe place... the gods bring you back. ok... I know all that... but WHY? 11:52 a.m. - 2003-02-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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