tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- happy again a warm gentle rain. that's what it is doing outside my window this morning. I went outside and sat on the porch and drank my coffee in the silence and warmth of the morning. I guess I didn't have to go any place for the heat.. and it has warmed me. and yesterday, while walking down a hall.. I felt the snap and whoever was gone... or their hold was gone and I felt happy again. Strange how it happened... how I really understood the exact moment that it happened. and this me wants to analyze and tear it apart... bit by bit... to understand and of course.. control. and then another me says just be happy you are happy again.. the me's... hmmm. L called last night ????? and we talked about nothing really.. just life and his son who is going into the hospital today for his tests. L will spend the night with him at he hospital... will call me when he can... maybe we can do something soon????? I wanted to say... why are you calling... I wanted to say lots.. but then I just laughed because I think I understood. I don't think he knows just what to do with me. I have been so incredibly honest with him... even I am shocked at that... yet, he knows so very little about me because he doesn't know the questions to ask. and I wanted to call D ... but I didn't. I like the sound of the rain this morning. I don't like what it will bring. 7:15 a.m. - 2003-04-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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