tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I didn't have to test the waters... they tested me and there I was, trying to find my way down from the dam. long winding outside staircase... and I leading the way. me.. leading the way... how strange that I am so different in some aspects in my dreams. and my son behind me... I laughing in the sunlight.. knowing we were on our way .. the right path.. so to speak. and then the pathway seemed to come to an end... and I had a choice... to jump in the water ( I am not a very good swimmer ) or go back. A long line of people were following. I thought how cold the water would be... how deep and how high up I was. and then I thought... I wouldn't have been led this far if it wasn't to be alright. I turned to look at my son... I smiled and said... it will be alright. D's face appeared.. in my mind's vision. Go by faith... I heard him say. He had once said he would never be far away. I felt that cord vibrating and knew I would be alright. So... with a deep breath... I started to jump... I looked down... backed up... centered myself... turned once again to see my son's face... smiled at him... and started to the edge... very calmly... determined. and there it was. the staircase did not end.. it continued on... how could I not have seen the path? and the gods smiled... because I had trusted. if only in my dreams... but I had trusted. and the sun shone in my soul. How to explain the joy I felt running on the path... my son behind me running on... with smiles on our faces. The gods had intervened... we were in the gods hands. my dreams had been so complicated and yet so calming last night.... so full of D and learning stuff... stuff I needed to know.... and D... well, in my dreams... he's the best. 10:21 a.m. - 2003-04-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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