tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- so who is he? Who is the old man of my dreams? lsat night he was back and he asked me what is making me so unhappy? I told him I was lonely... for most of my life the aloneness was alright... but now... now it has turned to loneliness. he sighed... sat me down on an old log and asked me if I was being true to who I really am? He said I must never forget or turn from my real identity. Then he said the strangest things... He said my friend D was to be thought of as one thinks of an amusement park... and my friend L.. to think of him as a feather bed. He said to consider that and I would understand and be alright. I have thought of that for most of the day. D... an amusement park. I thought of how one feels just before you get to the park... how full of excitement,,, how happy. and then I thought of how scary lots of the rides at an amusement park are for me...how I enjoy the idea more than the reality of the park. How after just a short time I am happy it is time to go. I thought of how shiny and bright everything is at the park... on the outside... but that many days there is some rides that are shut down because of problems. I thought that the shiniest... the most glittering rides... they are the ones that make me the sickest. I thought of all the other stuff at the park... stuff that is just for appearances... nothing real. D... an amusement park... hmmm... L... a feather bed. a feather bed keeps you warm... safe.. so soft and gentle and yet you know you are completely supported. L... a feather bed... hmmm So I have considered... I think I understand... of course I am alright.. who is the old man of my dreams? and why when I called D yesterday... why was his voice the voice I remember so well? 7:37 p.m. - 2003-04-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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