tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- don't go beyond where you haven't yet begun It is a gift from the gods to wake up happy. and I .. so undeserving.. but nonetheless.. I have been given that gift this morning. and looking out at the morning, coffee cup in hand... pleased that it is not cold... pleased that it has not started to rain and maybe won't... or at least not much. Last night I started working on my yard... such a hard winter and now much more than I though will need to be done. The ground has shifted... risen in places.. what was once flat is certainly not that way now... I thought this strange.. not sure why a bad wimter would have that effect on the ground. Lots of great rocks came down the creek for my yard... to make the margins for new flower beds... to make the walkways.. busy hands and happy heart. I am ok... I will be ok. and the sun is shining on me if not outside. L and I talked about dreams last night. I don't usually talk with him about such personal stuff... as if my dreams were that special... maybe only to me. He started to ask about the mechanics... like places... I told him about the old man and my forest.. and my trees... that yes, they do come back often and my view on why they come back.. and then the strangest thing happened... I heard it in his voice... he started to remember his own... the softness of his tone... the hesitation as the memories started to come back.. and his excitement as he described his forest of his dreams... that place he feels the most comfortable in.. he describe his river.. and that the water was warm.. he tried to describe its warmth.. he described his boat.. actually more canoe-ish type boat that he used on the river. I almost felt we were describing the same place.. the same forest... the same river. I told him I knew the river but that it was cold. He said no... go when the sun is shining... you will feel its warmth. I told him I had never been there with sunlight on the river... that the river scared me. such a strange conversation to have with L... almost as if the gods knew I needed to have this conversation with him... almost as if they know something I can't quite put my finger on. I just know I am excited that we will meet for dinner tonite... and he was my first thought upon waking... well, after I listened for the sounds of the morning... and waited to hear the birds call... that repetition of sound. do you think it is too soon to try and explain my colors? could i get so lucky that he understand that? but then... how much farther could I go? could i explain the others? Could i explain????? Me? 7:36 a.m. - 2003-04-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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