tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the god's gift to me I will be happy... I am happy.. that's just the way it will be and is. I will get through... I will keep my peace and I will not let anything make me feel sad. Do you think if I repeat this long enough it will actually be true? and the road turned upward last night and I tried to travel to the stars... past that first turn and I did not want to make the right turn.. I know that path too well.. I tried to go straight for awhile longer... I saw the opening to the left and tried to get there. The traveling part I like... with my focus on getting there... so focused that there is nothing else and I like that feeling. No hurts... no bad memories... no thoughts of what if... there is no past and no future... just the now. If everyone could take the journey... could feel that calm... how different the world would be. If all the troubled youth could learn to journey... could find their peace in the stars.. how different they may become. the journey to the stars. I woke so sleepy this morning as if I was just getting back from a long trip... but I woke feeling at peace. I haven't traveled to the stars in soo long. Lately when I would try... I'd not get very far... not even to the first turn and I had never tried to go farther.. had always taken that first turn. There I knew I was safe and would fine comfort in the lands there.. But last night... it must have been a turning point that I did not take that all too familiar turn. and I like how I feel this morning... even with the tiredness. and some place in the night I was in my room... my golden room with the pillows and cloths... dancing and feeling as if my room ... my life.. was totally in the gods hands and that for first time in so so long... I was truly alright... safe...warm... loved beyond measure. and the elephants raised their trunks to me and blasted me with their noise and it penetrated someplace inside me and I felt at one with them. and no longer frightened nor sad. Just me ... K... and she's just fine... K stronger now than ever before. What a wonderful journey last night. Exactly what I needed. The gods understood. 6:30 a.m. - 2003-05-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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