tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- but it's good to be back to my own bed While in nYC, I took my son to see the Temple of Dendur that is in the Met Museum of Art... Many years ago now.. I would often take my lunches there.. to sit in the quietness of the temple... to dream my dreams... to be just me. I never told anyone where I went for lunch.. I didn't want company. It felt good to take my son there. He understood. We explored the museum then... finding rooms that he would have done the same... missing far more than we saw as the day was only so long and we were not alone. His uncle went with us. I like his uncle..we laugh easily together at ourselves and at life... so it was good for my son. we had taken the trains to get there.. but had gotten off on the wrong side of Central Park so we had to walk across the park. What a wonderful walk and as we walked and talked and laughed I saw my son falling in love with the city.. much as I had done so many years ago.. His heart went out to the bag people... he gave money to a musician playing in the subway.. not because of anything but that the instrument he was playing left such haunting melodies floating in front of us.. and behind. and he bought a dvd from a peddler selling what turned out to be a bad dvd.. but the hope on his face as he said.. look what I got and only $10... I laughed knowing he would be disappointed when he got home.. but for then it was his dream.. his experience that mattered. and the hot dogs from the street vendors... and the people.. and the sounds and the smells. It was nyc.. where dreams are made... and also destroyed.. but he was not to know that..not yet. I let him dream. and we are home... it has been good. He needed to see his father.. but I fear it only widened the chasm between them. For sure it widened the chasm between us... he said I was not the same person.. that I have changed in many ways... even as to the look on my face.. everyone else thought I looked great... but different.. as if I was a different person and only related to me. I wanted to tell them.. yes.. the assimilation of me is going quite well, thank you. But I didn't.. and my son just smiled. He knows. For my son and myself... for who we are... this was a great trip. For my future.. wherever that may be.. this was a necessary trip.. I know that now. 6:12 a.m. - 2003-05-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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