tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Routine Routine. I guess it is important to me... never thought I would be one of those people... those people I swore when I was young that I would never be... but routine... I seem to be lost without it. This weekend was not routine and I feel as if I just floated through it... as if nothing was much real.. that I did not accomplish as much as I should have,, maybe that's the problem.. with routine I see accomplishment and without it I see chaos. hmmm... but my flower beds are almost done... just some marigolds to put in to keep the animals away... so I did get something done. and summer and sun have come at long last to this part of the frigid north... and yesterday I put in a new ceiling fan... well, with my brother's help.. I am afraid of electrical things.. so maybe i did get something done after all this weekend.. maybe it was not just mindless chaos... and last night.. chasing light into the waterfall... and finding him at the entrance to the hidden cave.. room.. hearing the twinkling of the faeries laughter... such a very strange dream.. and I like the gentleness that seems to come from within me this morning.. he asked me if I was afraid of him... such a curious question I thought at the time... afraid of him? should I fear he who my soul seeks out in my sleep... should I fear he whose voice calms my inner most turmoil... should I fear he who makes me laugh and feel freer than I ever have before.. should I fear he who my body responds to like no one else.. do I fear he that I am connected to in some hard to explain way... do I fear that connection..? no.. I don't fear him.. actually.. he is the one person I don't fear. How strange is that... 6:08 a.m. - 2003-06-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||