tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the acceptance mode Yesterday I went on a five mile hike... well, walk actually. on the river trail with my son. it was fun except I wore the wrong sneakers and now have a blister and my feet hurt. I had to take my shoes off for part of it.. walking holding my shoes by their laces.. memories of when I was young and went swimming in the creek when we weren't suppose to. Our clothes would dry as we walked home and we would hold onto our shoes until our feet dried. It has been a pretty physical weekend and now tonite.. the first karate class.. not bad for the old girl I would think. Tomorrow is my b-day. L called as he knew we would both be much too busy to do anything this weekend together... so he called... and remembered I had a b-day coming up.... even to the day. When I laughed and told him I was surprised that he remembered he sounded odd.. like I had said the oddest thing and that of course he would have remembered. Last year he had given me a book about places to go in our area... a wonderful book about trails... how well he knew me even then.. before we had even met face to face. I thought of differences and how d can't even remember the month of my b-day.. much less the day and how even a card from him would be too much to manage. This weekend I have thought lots on differences and about me.. and I have done lots of reading again on the insights. I am back to a good place emotionally and expecting the best because that is the energy I am throwing out to the universe as I sit cradled in the hands of the gods... and maybe in their cradle it is not so much that I am pulling the veil down on my life but that I am learning acceptance. Acceptance for my past... acceptance of who I am... acceptance of who I am not. But the best part of now is I am paerfectly calm and at peace... wonder how long it will last... but I know that is the start of the downfall when I question... merely acceptance is the key.. today I am in the acceptance mode... and i can't begin to explain with my limited knowledge how good that makes me feel. but why still... no dreams? 6:28 a.m. - 2003-07-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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