tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just another day without him I got another stripe last night at karate... could it be because I did a good roll.. after thinking I almost broke my neck... or was it because I pushed so hard when going up against a guy that I almost won our competition... less than a second behind... he smiled at me when he congratulated me for a job well done. I will work tomorrow night on everything I need to know for Sat's belt testing.. I will get thru this. I like how I feel when I walk out of the dojo... my head held high. Maybe this is good for me. It's good for the relationship between my son and I. Teenagers are so hard to have good relationships with at times.. but as long as we can get thru the big things without much problem I will feel myself lucky. Time to think about taking more time before the summer is over from work... Time to think about where to go.. hmmmm.. maybe it is time? you think? this morning I am so calm... I woke in the night panicked.. not sure why .. maybe the job as things have changed so much... but last night I panicked and before it could get very far I visualized the cord... the energy flowing to me and the thought came to me ... I am as much like a child in its mother's womb feeding from her embryonic cord.. so I run to my cord with our creator and feed from his nourishment.. I felt cradled and safe at that moment... as if earth was my creator's womb... at least in this reality.. and I just an unborn child on that great path.. but my panic attack stopped... as I stayed cradled by the great hand of the I am. and now back to the experiment... I am trying to train my brain and eyes so I only have to use one contact... it will correct the distance problem and my other eye that sees great close up without the contact will be my close up vision eye.. and i like the feeling of no glasses or contacts.. well, at least in one eye.. so the experiment continues.. they say the brain quickly makes the connection and unerstands what it is to do...we shall see.... and if it works then maybe I will hve the operation in at least one eye to correct the nearsightedness... am i being vain? I wonder. and today?? another day of hope and love sent out to the universe and who knows where it may land or on whom... I am open to suggestions... and I am smiling... so it is a great start for the day. and this morning.. now... a great blackbird sits on my porch railing cawing to me.. is that an indication? or just another of the many co-incidences in the last few days.. Hmmmmmm. 6:31 a.m. - 2003-08-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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