tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- another day of rain is on its way another day of rain and I will have to go to work and leave my son here at home. I know I'm being irrational but after going out yesterday... riding on roads to see the damage brought by the rains on Sat... I can't shake the fear. L called twice yesterday to make sure I was alright.. I had finally fallen asleep last night... early ... I hadn't slept much the night before and then he called... he was hoping he would say something that would ease my fears and I would be able to sleep... I didn't have the heart to tell him he woke me up. and of course, then I listened to the rain coming down and felt the panic starting again... but tiredness won out and I slept. and in my weakness I called D yesterday morning. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have looked to him for comfort but then listening to him I wasn't sure who needed the comfort more.. He has a lot on his plate this week and I feel for him but not all of it is bad. He is getting an award and part of me wishes I could be a wee one hiding in the corner watching and then part of me wishes I could be there to clap for him and give him a great smile.. and hug and kiss.. let him know how proud I am of him and that he is important ( as if he would be happy or care that I was there ) so I will do it in my thoughts and hope he feels the goodness sent his way. but now to get going... another day of rain... another day of worry... just a few more they say before the sun will be out again. 6:17 a.m. - 2003-08-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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