tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- M M Died Michael Mayer died yesterday... or was it a couple of days ago.. or was it last week. I can't remember when last I saw him. But he died. and then they found him later.. once someone realized he was missing. when they realized he was not walking the streets.. his clothes tattered and dirty... his body filthy... going to his usual haunts to gather food.. picking up cans and papers and trash that others had thrown out car windows... trying to clean things up.. they found he had died in his home.. just went to sleep and did not get up. I would often see him as I was coming home from work.. his hands making all those motions in the air.. waving .. lost in the conversation he was having with those unseen. His parents had died a few years back and it was after they died that we started seeing him.. so when I saw his obit in the paper I was surprised to see his college degrees.. but then the answer... he had served in Vietnam. Vietnam had wonded him in ways that could not be fixed. He had been hurt in that place that hurts so bad it takes you away from this reality. He lived in their house.. he was safe.. but alone. He had their money so did not fall into the cracks... just existed in his world of withdrawal. I would see him in the local market... gathering a few things that he could carry... odd combinations of food it would seem.. but everyone was nice..Hi Mike.. they would call out to him.. slowly his head would turn and as if it was taking a great effort to come back to this reality and reply. He made me sad when I looked at him... as if I should do something but knew he was far beyond my reach.. I hope I see him again... in a different lifetime ..reality.. I want to see someone whose soul was too fragile for this reality... I understand that well. I am sure now he is happy.. he is cared for.. he is clean and no longer lonely... But Micheal Mayer died and I feel so sad and can't explain why. 6:32 a.m. - 2003-08-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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