tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everythings OK It's hard to write these days... sometimes too hard and so I don't.. at one time I thought it would do to try and bring it all out.. now I know that's not the way ... at least for me. So I don't write and my dreams are sporadic at best. The old man stops by sometimes but I no longer want to hear what he has to say... I too and turn in my sleep most nights and my days are filled with anxiety on the worst of them. But mostly I'm just that person most days... the one that you will pass.. smile to.. and she will smile back... and that will be the end of it. but the words are there... deep in my mind... they don't stop so I don't realize that I am lonely.. I am always talking with someone... you know. And like a crash... the breaking of glass.. it all came back.. the colors and sounds of yesterdays.. no illusions of what I wanted it to be.. just what was.. and she realized just how alone she was. and it was OK. and my son has a girlfriend... he made the moves and she felt the same and so there is peace and joy in my house. I thought of that... tried to remember the time that when I liked someone... they really liked me and then they asked me out... " we went steady" I guess was the term we used... I couldn't remember the time. But it's OK. Maybe just OK... but still... OK. 6:23 a.m. - 2003-10-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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