tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sacred trust sacred trust. the old man sat with me by the stone that has always been in my dreams. He found me walking down a sunny dusty road.. one that I haven't been on in such a long time. The last time i walked it I was holding hands with someone so precious to me that the air smelledfrgrant withscents I can't explain.. at least that is what I remembered. Last night though, I walked it alone. I woke hearing the words sacred trust. To be honest, maybe it is my isolation, but lots of words.. voices.. have been swirling around me. Alone but not alone. The old man and I talked... I swirling the colors in tighter to me.. the old man trying to explain that by pulling them tight I lose their brilliance... the dance though.. I danced it fast as if I needed to put it behind me... the old man's voice lost in the frenzy. the colors were losing their warmth.. becoming hard and physical.. suddenly the old man grabbed my arm and in a loud voice said NO.... I felt the waves of softness returning.. the colors becoming as warm and gentle as a baby's skin... or a warmn summer's breeze. I looked hard at the old man.. my glare continuing until eventually as he looked at me.. his gaze caressing my soul ..easing the sting of its exposure.. and I felt the release. I asked the old man. why now? The edge so close and sharp.. sometimes I get so tired of walking on its edge.. He smiled and reminded me.. sacred contract. But the edge feels so much sharper... so close as if there is only the edge. and the colors have lost their comfort. The old man's smile... his eyes twinkling as he finally started a great laugh. Opening his arms wide I saw before us.. what is & what was... and I understood why now... why the edge so sharp and close. But i'm frightened... I grabbed his hand and held it tight... I am more frightened than I have ever been. and more in love.. but what has changed? sacred trust... and a trip that did not take place this weekend because I couldn't do that to myself or put him in that situation without notice. Sacred trust... I am to focus on that. 7:11 a.m. - 2004-08-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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