tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Imiss him.. ok.. I said it. I think I m tired of waking up and wondering will this be the day? Someplace along the way back to him everything has changed... I have changed. I will not accept just anything any longer. I am more important than that. The pictures were developed and there were a couple of us that were just beautiful. The pictures were what put me over the edge.. they are but a moment.. I want more than just moments in tme. Beautiful and soul caresses though they may be... they are still just moments. Those moments will last forever in my heart and my mind but I want it all now.. I will not accept a few minutes here and a few there... a stolen weekend from the business of life... I want the life.. I don't want to steal from it or constantly be wondering when will the next time be. and then there is the practicality and my son and reality.. I am getting impatient for my life to really begin... maybe that is all this is this morning.. Maybe. or maybe just seeing the pictures... and the smile they put on my face.. or the warmness of last night's evening.. when I wanted him to be there to walk beside me holding my hand and laugh together. I guess I am just missing him... our last time together was wonderful... I can't get his face when he walked in the door ... his eyes... his smile.. from my mind. He was different... more passionate than ever before.. almost as if he wanted to without having to say the words show me how much he had missed me and cared. He succeeded... I felt it. But was it real? 6:21 a.m. - 2004-08-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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