tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I will not be their victim I refuse to spend another sleepless night visiualizing a healthy dan while he is out having dinner with her.. I refuse.. I'm not that nice. and to think he has the nerve to call to see how James is doing while on his way to meet her.. or is that to ensure I do not call and disturb them... of course, he quickly adds he only called to see how the kid was doing.. as if we really believe he cares or ever cared. either way.. I refuse to be their victim anymore.. they are not nice people... though I ma not sure he means for it to go this way,, even now I think of excuses for him I may love him.. he has always been with me and in the next reality with this one forgotten or put into persepctive.. we will be as we always have been.. but I am not sure I like him very much anymore. What complications we give ourselves... and James goes today for the stress test... I have to believe he will be alright.. tomorrow the ultrasound and more rabies shots.. and I read and reread the letter from johnny... what a blessing he has been to me... and how could the timing have been better. 6:29 a.m. - 2004-11-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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