tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lie sucks go thru the weekend barely... james concert was wonderful and I was glad J went with me.. we talked and tried to understand who each other is. I listened to him.. he is so very intelligent.. so why do I have such reservations.. because he has a learning disability that he has overcome... because he doesn't spell well.. but he knows things.. he can do things.. he is nice.. so why can't I let him touch me.. I smiled when James' Harvard interview turned out to be this Friday... I smiled.. changes his plans... haven't told him yet.. but they have changed. I am leaving everything in the hands of the gods... I can't be hurt anymore.. and dan still lingers in my heart and mind.. dan.. a part of my soul... a part of me. and Johnny.. I miss johnny. funny how just talking with him... funny how for the first time in so many many years... I felt safe. Safe like I felt when I was young and Johnny was around.. no matter how bad everything was in my house. I miss johnny.. I miss my best friend. 6:15 a.m. - 2004-11-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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