tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- changes Ok.. so I got caught up in the possibility.. the expectancy of life. John came over last night bringing gifts as usual.. book for me.. stuff for James for school.. nice gifts.. letting us know he has been thinking of us... Nice, But, as the night wore on I found myself looking at my watch.. checking the time.. wondering how soon I could make my yawns.. show I was tired.. He finally got the hint... and he kissed me good night.. and nothing... just nothing. Time had no meaning when I was with Dan.. time was the enemy not the friend as last night it became. as I shut the door telling John to drive safely home, I leaned against it and asked the gods to look after Dan for in reality.. he still holds the keys to my heart. Damn... Will I ever be able to move on? Will I ever not think of him or wish him well? and then, we can't go to New Orleans later this month.. I won't get to see my dear Johnny... James tells me that it is when his auditions are for his last OCT opportunity... and he wants it so much.. and the director is close to him... He has a good chance. How can I say NO when he wanted to go away just as much. Still... there will be the trip to SL. and I am still waiting for the new age brought by the turning of the clock... or is the knowledge that I have not moved past Dan.. part of the new age. 6:14 a.m. - 2005-02-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||