tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am healing well she's gone. I did not help her pack or move one box.. not that I minded her moving.. just did not wnat to have to deal with the energy. they say there are reasons for everything... soemtimes we are given glimpses of what those reasons are and sometimes we never know.. can't get that far removed to see the bigger picture. yesterday, I was given a glimpse.. a tearing of the curtain.. a view of the bigger picture. and I found out important stuff about myself... good stuff.. and last night I slept.. deeply.. certain dusty boxes stored on the forgotten shelves of memory fell down and spilled open.. but there was only dust in them.. what was .. no more. I have put this to rest... and I felt compassion and I hugged him in my arms.. he that I have not gotten that close to in 40 years. I hugged him in his tears... there has been a healing. and on another note.. I called his house yesterday morning.. I called to leave a message.. I thought he would be to work and I could leave a message that when he came home and got it.. at that moment I knew he would send needed good energy thoughts.. but.... she answered the phone.. startled, I didn't even answer.. just hung up.. there is nothing for me to say to this woman... but my reaction was better.. instead of withdrawing - not sure there is much further I can withdraw.. I called him. I was sorry to disturb him but I needed to hear what he had to say... I love this man.... I love who this man is now... not the child he once was... but now. I love this man.... and I know he loves me. 6:22 a.m. - 2005-03-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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