tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just another Mother's Day A perfect Mother's Day.. just the kid and I. The sunshine felt good to my soul.. a balm to life's aches. After a delightful lunch at a local Chinese Restaurant.. I worked with my flowers.. watched a movie and read... all with my son.. The gardening this year is done with less than eager hands... knowing I won't be here to enjoy the fruits of my labors dampens the enjoyment.. but it still feels good to sit in the dirt and smell the earth.. the trees.. brush off my outdoor rocks and stones. I wanted to paint.. I wanted to go into the forest and paint.. but didn't... Something told me not to.. and since now I am flying by emotions.. colors.. sounds... instead of rationality... I didn't. J understood when I said I would be spending the day with my son and for once he didn't get all strange.. I was glad.. He could be so perfect for me...if only he eased up on his jealousy of my son. He pushes too fast for what I am not able to give as yet. There will be a time.. just not yet.. not now.. and when he pushes.. that time becomes longer in the distance.. not closer. My roses are looking ever so beautiful.. yet.. I still do not know who sent them other than the name... Ben.. haven't heard anymore from him either... how strange that is... Ben... the name of my son's friend from the other side.. Ben.. the illusive stranger. On a more realistic thought... this was the last Mother's Day for awhile that my son will be here with me.. For a few years he should be in college and I don't remember that being a school holiday. I thoought of that last night as I watched him on the other sofa reading.. as he went running and I watched his laps on the road in front of me.. as I heard his laughter with the cats.. Next MOther's Day will be very different indeed. 6:46 a.m. - 2005-05-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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