tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- another day Something woke me in the sleep last night.. a memory.. a phrase... it is easy to love when everything is as you want it to be... it is when all hope is lost you know if it really was love. Probably it is because he enters my mind so often.. and yet.. that part of me says... remember.. he never loved you or he couldn't have done to you what he did. but.. there is our connection and for that.. I know we have a love that spans time.. I just wish he could get it right in this lifetime. fractures the runes talked about.. I daresay they happened. I am not going to the druid happening.. as much as I would have loved to and maybe if J had been there, I would have.. but not alone.. not knowing what would happen. and J will not be happy that I did not go to the band concert last night.. he would have wanted me to spend the night and the gods know.. not ready for that yet... and today.. he will want me there all day.. and he is busy.. not like I would be with anyone to mix with or talk with.. and he won't care so much about today. it was really just the night he wanted and that disturbs me. my Mom is angry with me... that is OK.. I am tired of her drama.. tired of her woe is me attitude. When you live by deception... anger.. it usually comes to you.. You are what you attract. and my brother brought his new girlfriend around. I should have known how I would feel about her.. especially since my Mom thought she was wonderful.. We usually do not have the same opinion... and anyone that starts with the jesus stuff and rights and wrongs and how inflexible they are... because of what the Bible teaches.. I smiled.. and continued smiling.. she may be just what my brother seems to attract... where he focuses his life on.. but I and my son smiled and wnt to another place mentally while she was talking. Though, to be perfectly honest.. part of my smile was knowing the dark side of her ( she had no idea my brother had told me ) and that her words meant little... in other words.. she was full of crap. But I didn't spend much time on that.. wnated to stay in the good place where positive energy is thrown out to the universe. and then.. when the night seemed to close, while reading a book,snuggled in blankets, head resting on a pillow... 7:10 a.m. - 2005-05-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||