tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it will be a good day my sleep.. sound. decisions. I did not call J.. I saw my brother and his"girlfriend".. I did not talk with Mom.. all stuff that my behavior while taking a path fo consequences.. left me feeling calm and centered. I will explain to J today why I did not call or come to where he wanted. I will tell him I was not up to the argument or his insinuations. It will be over and I feel nothing. It was not a difficult choice after all. It would have meant doing smething out of needing to feel secure and looking for that security in someone else and I will not do that. I thought about his kiss and that it didn't touch my soul... and I will not leave my son in the cold.. alone emotionally... He is my son.. and in my mind, i have decided on the place. One place. and the time frame is moving swiftly now.. like the running of a deer. June is almost hre.. next week I will call the apartment complex.. I will make the arrangements to sell this.. I will start the movement and the activity will keep me in a secure place.. in the cradle. happiness is today.. I expect it.. I dance in the horizon between yesterday and today.. knowing the sunrise of tomorrow is just a moment away. I am happy... now.. knowing the best is yet to come.. and today is not bad. How good is that? and must remember to send much goodness to D as he will never fully understand what he has done for me. 6:31 a.m. - 2005-05-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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