tarkis's Diaryland Diary

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did you think, maybe?

we talked about the greenhouse..
what we would want it to be like.. the herbal garden it will contain.. my flowers...

we talked about his workshop and a corner of it with lots of lighting.. for my painting.. crafts.. that way we wouldn't be apart so much as have our own interests.

we talked about us.. our den.. our hilltop.. our house... the one we will build... fresh with out memories of others.

we talked about gentleness and laughter.. what is and what could be.

and today he leaves for the mountains.. 3 1/2 weeks.. he will miss my pixels.. we will talk on the phone.

how easy to fall into him...how easy to laugh and dream...

but reality.. what is our reality?

Do we truly have a future?

forget it ... this is you... remember.. no matter what he says.. DO NOT BELIEVE.

stay in the place of calm where no one can touch... DO NOT DREAM.

and thank D once again for showing me just how unloveable I am.

BUT... it was my contract and I am not bitter... and there is plenty of love for me on the other side.

9:27 a.m. - 2005-06-04

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