tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- green will heal I have had enough sleep. Something awakening me at 2:30.. who or what? not sure. But I am awake and finally feeling good.. no.. make that great. and not because of anyone or anything.. just am and that is so much the better. now.. to get back on track. and yesterday feeling the connection.. I wanted to call but didn't. I really have to set the date to move.. albeit a temporary move.. just until I find / get what I need and want. He called.. I wanted to tell him what i have realized ... I wnated to hear what he had to say.. but he is in a place that cells do not work well... Our connection not good.. and we didn't get a chance to talk much. But he called. I was in his mind. He should be back in just a few weeks. I laughed when he asked before he left.. would I forget him in this time away... I wanted to say... in all this time there is one I have never forgotten and that if he walked into my life at this moment.. It would be as if he never had left. But I didn't.. what a way to screw things up before they ever actually got started. But I thought it.. Am I trying to end this before I have to make a decision... maybe.. or am I playing... the reality being.. he is still 13 years younger than I as.. a whole Chinese set younger.. or is he like me. He would be wouldn't he.. and D's face.. still popping into my mind's vision.. but.. my energies are directed.. and whoever accompanies me on my path... Know this.. I have my path to walk.. you may only walk with me should your pathconverge with mine.. at least for a time. 6:21 a.m. - 2005-06-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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