tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and who am I floating in today there is something haunting about the bird's morning call outside my window. Maybe that is why I love the morning .. early morning.. when all is quiet.. still.. except for the birds... and my wind chimes... long wooden tubes.. their sound melodic, evoking memories distant and of another lifetime. My son's last day of school today.. I awoke with myself in front of the board.. writing a letter to the paper exposing the administration for what it is. I laughed... this deep anger still under the surface. His last day of school.. I asked him how he felt knowing it was just about over.. Strange, he said. Sad. He will miss some of his teachers.. it has already been difficult for him. Some are his friends. I asked who of the students.. he didn't know. P probably. throwing my runes yesterday.. it talked about knowledge and what is needed.. and everything we need and are inside us... if only able to locate the "key" I needed money.. to buy my future. and I think I have found the way .. the path.. to get it. I am excited.. I will work hard.. but it is there for me. The path very clear.. as if hedges had been torn up and the way exposed.. cobblestoned and hard packed dirt. The cobbelstones reminding me of other times and places.. the sliding of lifetimes. I saw myself then.. a smiling maiden full of expectancy and joy.. another lifetime another day. Today I am smiling.. my reasons varied.. my hopes stronger than they have been in many years. though anger towrds D disturbing sleep... memories of words.. once spoken.. never able to quite be forgotten ... or forgiven.. if I should be totally honest with myself. but it is another day.. and I am content in my aloneness.. past that time of anguish for its suddenness or the knowledge of how it happened... even past the point of anticipating the downfall.. what is put out.. will come back. so now.. to throw my stones and see what glimpse the gods will give me to aid me on my way. ok.. I am not to look back.. not to let past momentums carry me exactly what this entry has taken me to.. past demons. so with a laugh at what is.. a thank you to the gods.. and a knowledge that I can create my destiny.. I will get on with my day and shove some good and positive enregy out to the universe and some special caring and loving thoughts towards D because if I don't look back at what was and only go by what has always been.. he is my hearts only love. 6:01 a.m. - 2005-06-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||