tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- busy time.. just a busy time so busy. last night I started the task of weeding a flower bed that as yet I have not planted anything new in.. just the old standbys doing well without a touch of my hand. Good, as I have lost the desire knowing I am only touching it for the party. and as I weeded I thought of my new garden and what it should look like.. which brought me to the move.. which brought me to that place of real tension as I considered the day. A & V are going on a cruise.. it was close to the time I needed to move.. that kind of finalizes the when. It will be so much better when he is not constantly calling or trying to e-mail while i am trying to get my office set. and then I considered the party next week and graduation and what I should wear which brought me to my son's father's arrival which now my son is not able to pick him up at the airport..I am to work.. I am feeling resentful that he has to stay with me.. that he is trying to make it about him.. it is my son's day.. and he is to stay here which always leads to problems but now he won't be leaving in a day.. he will stay for a few days throwing all our lives into a tizzy. and I feel the tension building.. and all I want to do is work on my grant.. move on with my life.. I would love to not have to move into an apartment but go directly to my future.. I have to reserve hotel room for when I take the kid to college..extra early.. staying more nights than previously thought... more forms to fill out.. this morning as the fax machine starts whirring 2 hours before officially I am to work.. and I see the piles of papers needing stuff done to them.. and my mind is moving thru everything that needs to be done in the next 2 weeks.. I am overwhelmed. gods.. I could use some calming here today... how about it? a 7:20 a.m. - 2005-06-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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