tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the days are going by fast Strange day yesterday. Mom came over.. it was good to see her... She did not look good. They brought me a gift.. a rosewood statue from Thailand that Jim had gotten while stationed there in the late 60's. It is beautiful. Trying to get ready for this party is becoming more than I want to deal with.. yet I have no choice. The kid is halping.. but there is so much in front of us and all the while he is trying to find a job. He wants to take some of the load off me for college.. It isn't even as if we will owe much... but it is some. And then I get angry when I remember his Dad is coming.. I will have to play host to him.. he who is not going to help with college expenses.. and I hate getting to that angry place as it seems to attract more negativity. So I will laugh.. laugh at what is.. what will be and laugh for sure at what has been. and my D called again yesterday... and my heart sang.. and my soul danced... and I didn't look back.. nor forward..only at the moment. Well, maybe a little forward as I dreamed dreams of him leading retreats at my dream place... at us working side by side... it was a nice dream. The grant guy is calling tonite.. to set it all in motion. and calmness has returned. and I am missing a rune.. the rune of all potential and all emptiness.. the blank rune. Now to throw my stones and see my path before me... at least a little of today. 7:31 a.m. - 2005-06-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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