tarkis's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- colors of life - they are getting closer buy an old farmhouse and raise goats.. that is what lingers in my memories. I cried last night.. deeply.. in my sleep. I don't remember crying.. just this morning that feeling one has after a release of emotion that way. I know how it feels.. I have cried a river of tears in the past. I know my tears had something to do with the old man and truth but can't seem to quite understand it all. The causes of my sadness, looking out my window this morning.. no sun.. just a world of shades of green.. my peace. Green is a color I understand.. I resonate well with green.. also gold or shades of yellow as some would say.. and blue and combinations of the 3.. but I don't undertsand red... it scares me sometimes and at other times.. I feel we are one and I do not know it yet. but when I do.. a whole myriad of colors will be felt.. the oranges and pinks of life.. the purple and violets so necessary.. yet, sometimes i forget that. Maybe I am afraid to feel red.. the total release of control.. a submersion in pure feeling. Maybe I understand red better than I want to admit. Maybe it is the reds of life I need to work on this time around.. that would make sense... since trust is an issue for me and if red is the color of total release... for me to be able to completely release I need to trust in the unknown.. or trust in the action.. reaction of the colors. Without red there could be no pink.. the pleasantness of life without red there could be no orange of which laughter makes its mark in the world.. and without red.. there certainly could be no purple.. the sacredness of what is.. I think my tears had much to do with colors last night... because today red seems near at hand. my mouse is doing great by the way.. missy's eyes ( yes, I have named her missy) have not opened yet but i guess if she is still alive after 3 days.. she just might make it. 6:22 a.m. - 2005-07-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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